I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize