Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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