You can't special order awesome
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
