my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
