i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
