Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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