He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
