Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I will be naked everywhere
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
