I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I have aggressive nipples.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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