yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
