How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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