New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
