Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
