I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
