Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
