i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
