I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
