Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
