I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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