I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
