Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
