i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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