i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
