So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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