Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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