Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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