Define "chronic" masturbator.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
