make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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