I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
