hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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