I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
