So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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