oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
