He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
