i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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