Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
