please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
