You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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