whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
