I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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