He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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