Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
