Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
