toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
