Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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