A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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