Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
