my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
