You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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