Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
