He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
