i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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