Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
