absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
