He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize