she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
