We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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