They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
