please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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