I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
