Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
