We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
