Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
