I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
