Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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