when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
