he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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