ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
