My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
