Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize