So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
