oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
