i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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