Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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