Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
