i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize