I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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