he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
